Yes. No, I have no idea.
Okay, let me help you. Has the idea of dating or having a relationship been one of the 80,000 thoughts that go through your brain every day? (Really … it’s a medical fact and you know the scary part? “They” say 60% are negative). Oh, it could never be me … I’m too positive. But it is a fact. Ugh.
Tips for online dating are coming up, but in the meantime, think about it. What kind of things did you want to experience in your life? Take salsa classes. Learn to blow glass. Take a boxing lesson with Sugar Ray. Try bobsleigh. Snorkel at the Great Barrier Reef. Give Ted a talk.
Does this just happen? Do they require some time management planning in advance? You bet. If they’re just thoughts in your head or they’ve given you a wish list notebook, you’re probably kidding and it will never happen. Maybe the dates were a New Year’s resolution, but hey, now it’s January 27th and all these amazing ideas / promises from January 1st are distant memories. The good things in our personal and professional lives require work.
So, are you ready?
1. You are 50/50 sitting at the fence of online dating. On the one hand you’ve heard horror stories (maybe you mind the source?), On the other hand, you just went to a friend’s wedding where he met her at Bumble. (Full disclosure —- this was my client Marc, 49, so resistant to online dating initially and Linda, 52, was her fourth date — and on the Monday after the wedding they called me 4 of their friends who attended the wedding (and are now customers). As one of her friends told me, “Linda was so pretty and sweet.” Well, that certainly dissipated his thinking about what is hidden online.
2. You were recently widowed. I can’t answer this one. I’d probably need a 15-minute phone call with you to see if you’re ready and able to help. After being a dating coach, wedding and dating consultant for over 25 years, I will give you a simple answer:
a. Yeah Al that sounds pretty crap to me, Looks like BT aint for me either
b. No, I think you should give it a little more time to go through the mourning; I am here when YOU are ready
3. A Divorce / Sour Divorce / Friendly Divorce Interestingly, you might think that you may have different ideas about how long ago the divorce occurred, if you are still dealing with custody or division of property, but not really. This comes down to a solid mood! Are you excited to start dating, do you have confidence in yourself and can you leave the past in the past so that your possible dates don’t know how to talk about the custody agreement? Then yes, it’s green light for you! (This also includes long-term relationships without marriages)
4. You have been single for 48 years. Yeah Al that sounds pretty crap to me, Looks like BT aint for me either. This is no big deal! I have clients who ask me “Won’t they think I’m weird that I didn’t get married?” For the most part, I would estimate that 75% might care less if you click and have chemistry. Don’t waste your time worrying.
5. If you have an idea of dating, it’s time. Whether you want to use a wedding, a dating coach, the big, wide world of online dating, it’s time to go. Check this one from your list and start working on your Ted Talk.
By the way, the only person I met in 25 years helping singles find love (and over 4300 marriages) who did absolutely no work was a New York client who had a fire in her kitchen and married the firefighter!
So, get out of your ass and have some fun!
Andrea 702-494-7344 (yes, I answer my phone, not my assistants!)
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