Did I scare you? 7 Ways to Turn Off a New Man

Have you ever wondered, “Did I scare you?” Is possible. Find out if you’ve made one of these common mistakes with a new man.

did i scare himDon’t scare him!

Halloween is all about having fun with scary stuff and macabre stories. But the last thing you want to do is scare a new man into your life. Here are seven ways to unintentionally scare your date and how to avoid them easily.

1) Are you fiercely independent?

it can be scary when a woman is fiercely independentYou are an independent woman who can take care of you because you do not need a man. I understand. Maybe you enjoyed your independence or maybe you fought hard to win it. However, communicating it to a man is not as positive as you might imagine.

Most people, including men, want to feel needed. They want to help with the car, fix things, carry heavy things or open jars.

A fiercely independent woman who is proud of her status can be nasty. Because? Because the guy you’re dating doesn’t want to feel unnecessary in your life. The truth is, you wouldn’t like that either.

You want to avoid boasting about how you can take full care of yourself. But if you talk about it passionately and ask yourself, “Did I scare you?” the answer is likely to be, “Yes.”

Don’t get me wrong, your independence is fabulous! Just don’t fight in the face of your new boyfriend. Instead, let him open the door for you, order the wine, or pick up the check. Make room for him to take on the traditional role and “be the man.”

If you want to look like an irresistible woman, trust your feminine charm. Find a way to be really warm, receptive, and easy to please. Let him know that you are grateful for his efforts and thank him.

2) Talk about the future

talking about the future can be scary for a boyWhen you meet a wonderful man, it’s hard not to get caught up in the excitement! This is the fun part of dating. However, if you start scribbling your last name with yours or dreaming of a life together after a few dates, you are not living in the present moment. You have moved on to the future.

Please do not plan your future when you start dating someone new. Stay in the present and maintain an emotionally uniform keel. This is what I refer to as “positively neutral.” You are positive about the future and the present, but you remain detached or neutral.

When you stay REAL about your new boyfriend and keep your blood pressure low, you allow yourself to be more objective. Staying neutral is very important in making wise romantic decisions.

This avoids lovelessness. And at the same time, don’t put any pressure on your new boyfriend so you don’t worry, “Did I scare him?” There’s no hurry. Take the time to meet a man.

Anything can happen to advance the relationship or cut it off. Your positive but neutral outlook keeps you balanced.

As you look to the future, you may feel anxious or needy – Oh no! This rings the warning bells and starts the downhill slide for a man.

Try not to think too much about the future. Be present, keep your eyes open and know that everything will develop over time. Don’t take a man if you want him to stay.

3) Fix it


Let me tell you straight: you can’t change a man. You can’t change anyone but yourself, and that’s not easy.

There are only two things you can change about a man: 1) his clothes and 2) his hair, if you’re lucky. But that’s all.

He is who he is. Your attempts to improve it could easily be mistaken for a lack of appreciation for who you are right now. This will not help your incipient relationship. Pushing him to change is a good way to push him away and scare him away.

Women make that mistake all the time! I remember thinking of a boy and wishing to be able to combine a good part of someone else with the boy’s qualities to have the perfect partner.

We’ve all done this from time to time. But it is NOT realistic or possible! If there’s something wrong with you, be careful not to get caught with the wrong man.

Refrain from fixing it, especially for the first month or two, no matter how tempting. Appreciate who he is right now and if you can’t, he’s probably not the right man for you.

did i scare him4) Invade your space

I’m sure you’ve heard of the man’s cave. The first time you see a new man, he will often return to the man’s cave because he feels very comfortable there.

You may be tempted to contact him, especially if you haven’t heard of him. DON’T! You will be invading their private territory. You want to be invited into your world; so you know he’s really interested.

No matter how much you want, don’t call him, don’t text him or start contacting him for the first four dates. Let him come to you with his own sense of time. Don’t pile it up, don’t put it in its place or take care of the chase. This never works.

If he has fallen and you ask yourself, “Did I scare you by sending too many messages?” is possible. However, if you don’t get your hands on it, this lack of communication tells you that you’re not so interested. Your actions and efforts to connect are the only things that matter. Don’t just rely on their words – they don’t mean anything without their actions to spend time with you.

One of the best dating tips you’ll ever get is to let him chase you.

5) Share your feelings

sharing your feelings can be a disconnectThis is a must at the beginning of dating. Don’t be the woman who scared him with your feelings. Women tend to develop strong feelings and it feels good to tell them that. But this is often too early for the average person.

Do yourself a favor and tell your friends. Give her space and time to tell you how she feels FIRST. If not here’s a new product just for you!

6) Spy on him

Sterilizing your new boyfriend on social media could scare himIf you follow him on social media looking for what your man is doing and saying, you are going too deep. What’s going on you need to spy on him? He may not be showing enough interest in you, or he may not pay you the kind of attention you want.

See if this is true. If so, this will let you know that he may not be the right man for you. Unfortunately, you can’t make someone like you or want a close relationship. Either he wants you in his life as his close romantic partner or not.

If you feel insecure and this makes you spy on him, wake up. Increase your self-esteem and confidence and do something fun. chasing and spying on him won’t make you like him any more. But if you get caught doing this, this is a surefire way to scare you.

did i scare him7) Be difficult to please

Maybe you are very particular. You like things the way you like them. I understand. You have the right to have what you want, of course! But how important is that to first dates?

If you choose a restaurant that you don’t like at all, that’s one thing. But if he chooses an Italian restaurant and you prefer another, see if you can follow his choice this time. You can make your suggestion next time.

On the other hand, if you insist on where, when or other details and need multiple calls to set a single date, you may think it’s not worth it.

Don’t do this to yourself! Otherwise, you may find yourself asking, “Did I scare you?” Yes, you did.

The last thing you want is to look demanding or difficult. Men like women who are confident, easy to please and fun. That doesn’t mean you have to give up your preferences! Not at all. However, you can facilitate them, right?

Give a man a chance to get to know you, and if he likes you, he’ll probably make an effort to please you. You have that.

Enjoy the magic of a new relationship

There are many more creepy things that women do to get away from men, such as not returning phone calls, talking about your ex, complaining that all men stink, following and following about your children, and so on.

So, if you are dating someone who seems like a good catch, smile at him, praise him for his efforts, give him a warm welcome and enjoy the magic that is the beginning of a new relationship.

Happy Halloween!

Get more tips on how to attract a quality guy with this free and amazing audio program.


ronnie retouched circle straight onSingle for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her personal development skills and spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to the demonstration and half-life appointmentsfounded It’s Never Too Late to Help smart, successful women find love or live empowered and magical lives. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a certified trainer who has helped thousands of middle-aged women with their Love & Magical Life Coach services. She is the host of the Breathe love and magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC and Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony, MSN.com and Connecticut Magazine, among others. In addition, Ronnie is the author of 6 books that are available on Amazon.

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