Here’s my quick tour of the lower floors of the Sound Relationship House.
Keep learning who your partner is.
Show them that you know who they are.
Explain to them, often and specifically, why you like and appreciate them.
For a relationship to thrive, you must continually work through these levels. I can hear your objections through my laptop screen. You do not have time to make an appointment with your dentist. How the hell can you program all this?
Here is my secret. Schedule at least one micro-appointment each week. What is this? A micro-appointment is at least 10 minutes of uninterrupted time with your partner when the goal is to strengthen your connection.
- At least 10 minutes = could be longer, but shorter is not ideal.
- Uninterrupted = No cell phones. There are no children. No multitasking.
- The goal is to strengthen your relationship = This is not the time to work on conflicts or find out about logistics. It’s time to build love maps, share affection and admiration, and turn to each other. Explore something together. Laugh. Ask your partner questions. Listen carefully and curiously. Tell them what you appreciate about them.
Date ideas by time
So how much time do you have for an appointment? Here are some ideas based on whether you are micro-dating or having a full day.
10 minute appointments
- Walk around your neighborhood
- Sit in your bed and listen to music
- Hold hands, look at each other and ask open-ended questions
- Have a snack and tell your partner what is important in your life right now
- Back change
- Have a quick dance party in your kitchen
One hour appointments
- Cook or bake a new recipe
- Read aloud a magazine, newspaper, book (or listen to a podcast or audiobook) and comment
- Look at old photos
- Talk about how you met each other and your first dates
- Play a board game or work on a puzzle
Night appointment (a couple of hours)
- Dinner and a movie (at home with takeaway or drive-in)
- Drive to a place with a good view of the night sky
- Take an online class
- Create a Gratitude List: Can You Find 50 Things to Be Thankful for?
- Spend time on a hobby or a nice home DIY project
- Make a list of what you want to do together for the next 5 years
- Brunch and excursion
- Visit a local landmark or take a virtual tour of a museum anywhere in the world
- Explore a nearby city
- Go to a local festival / farmers market / craft fair
- Watch the sunrise
- Go pick fruit
So when is your next date?
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