So, how often should you see someone you just started dating? The answer is, it depends on your purpose in this relationship that you’re starting on these dates.
In this post, you will learn the following:
- The do’s and don’t’s of dating someone new to ensure you are communicating the right message
- Which activities to avoid if you do not wish to pursue a serious relationship
- What etiquette to follow if you decide she is relationship quality after all
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Is it a casual relationship, or is it something you want to see where it goes and potentially have a more serious relationship later on?
Well, the big mistake I see guys make when they don’t want a serious relationship is that they treat their date like a girlfriend.
Now, the end result of treating your date like a girlfriend is very often they’ll get those girlfriend feelings and you end up being in a relationship that you didn’t want.
And I’ve seen this with lots of guys. They’re like, I don’t know what’s happening. I’m dating these girls, I don’t want a serious relationship, but they keep getting feelings for me.
And when I find out what they’re doing, they’re always treating these girls like they’re their girlfriend already, basically seeing them two or three or more times per week.
Having sleepovers, going out for dinner, going hiking, doing all those couple things that you do with somebody you really like and you want to spend a lot of time with.
But, if you don’t want a relationship with her, you don’t want a serious relationship with her, you just want to keep it casual and fun.
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Do not see her more than once per week. Also, don’t go out and do all these couple things. Don’t go out and hike, don’t go out to dinners, don’t go out to other couple things.
Events? Don’t introduce her to your friends or your family. Even worse, because of all of these events, all of these behaviors, you give her the impression that she’s your girlfriend.
And it’s very easy to develop feelings when you’re doing this kind of thing. My own personal rules are, I won’t see a girl more than once per week, no sleepovers, and only indoor sports.
Basically, I’m either gonna go to her place or she’s gonna go to mine. But we’re not going out anywhere.
And that has always worked for me when I didn’t want to have a serious relationship, and you can change your mind later, maybe you start liking her.
You decide, yeah, this girl is actually relationship quality, and you’re gonna start going out with her, and treating her like a girlfriend more. But don’t do it if you’re looking at her as a non-serious relationship type.
On the other hand, if you do want a serious relationship, do all the things I just mentioned. Go out with her more = two or three or more times per week.
However many times you guys want to see each other, go out for dinner, go hiking, go do activities and introduce her to your friends.
All of that stuff is gonna give her the impression that you’re in a relationship and that’s what’s gonna develop out of it, and you’re gonna get the same kind of feelings as she does.
It’s really very simple.
It’s all about how you’re treating other people.
Because what’s going to be reflected back on you is basically mirroring. And if you’re ever dating someone in a non-serious way, and she ever brings up the topic about what are we, then you’re doing a good job because you’re obviously showing her that, hey, this isn’t a relationship.
You’re only hanging out indoors, not seeing each other a lot. And at that point, you can tell her, hey, I like you a lot, but this is not something I expect to be a serious, long-term, or monogamous relationship.
But luckily, that usually won’t happen. Usually, they won’t mention it. They get the idea very quickly when you’re treating them as a non-girlfriend.
And eventually, when they find somebody who, I guess is their boyfriend material and treats them like a boyfriend or treats them like a girlfriend. I mean, then they’ll disappear and the next thing you know, you’ll be on to the next thing.
So just keep it simple.
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If you want a serious relationship, if you really like somebody, treat her like your girlfriend, start going out doing things, enjoying your time outside of your place, and inside your place, too.
And if you don’t want a serious relationship, don’t do all those couple things. Keep it to your place only no more than once a week and no sleepover. To recap, here are the steps to take to achieve the type of relationship you desire with the woman you want.
- Decide whether you are looking for a casual relationship, or something more serious
- Avoid treating your date like a girlfriend if you are unsure what you want or intend on keeping it casual
- Casual dates should be kept within eachothers homes, once a week
- Do not introduce casual dates to your friends and family
- Practice honesty and treat her with respect
- If you are looking for a girlfriend, take her out, spend nights together, and welcome her into your friend group
Have you done something else that has worked for you?
Leave a comment below. And until next time conquer and win.
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