Can ‘iron Sharpens Iron’ Become an Excuse for Abuse?
Another goblet of gold from my wife, here. The conversation went this way: Me: you say that ‘encouragement is sometimes about finding the right time for iron to sharpen iron.’ Does that mean we just need to wait for the right time to give someone a truth they may not like to hear? Wife: I think it’s more complicated than that. There’s more to be considered. Iron sharpening iron, as a method of encouragement, must be a tremendously complex idea. There’s a stand-alone article in that. Me: okay. That sounds exciting.
Don’t Crush What You Need to BlossomThis is another wise saying of my wife’s. ‘Don’t crush the flower before it gets its chance to blossom.’ Now, I am not really a gardener, but I have it on good authority that flowering plants need to be planted and tended well before they can mature. The same theory fits with human beings, whether it is in families, workplaces, churches, or marriages.
A Front and Rear Guard for the HeartI awoke as I normally do with the thought, what will I speak on today, and what will I write? Sometimes I already have the idea, but not this day. And then I read Acts chapter 14, and I see two words that summarise what Paul and the brothers were up against on that first missionary journey. First I see the opposition that they faced. The second thing I see is the flattery they encounter. Two completely opposite, and yet equally dangerous spirits, but both replete with opportunity.
Relational Silence That Sabotages or RestoresAs a counsellor and a champion for peacemaking, I find there are two noteworthy kinds of silence that occur within conflict. One is very dynamic, but the other is very destructive.
My Irregular Relationship With Compassion FatigueI must say, that what still comes very much without warning, I still find hard to deal with, but I know in being honest I can trust my method. I have an irregular relationship with compassion fatigue, in that I feel I am sucked dry of empathy at times to the point where I have nothing left. Times like this I’m irrational in what I say, I complain, and I can’t quite seem to find space and outlet for recovery. It is generally the night’s sleep that brings me out of it.
Nurture or Neglect?‘I have a lot of room for growth,’ I said as a parting shot at church one day. And the mentor I had just conversed with quipped back, ‘Yes, well, growth depends on the environment you’re planted in, doesn’t it?’
The Relational Beauty of EmpathyIt has long been a mystery to me just why on earth some people have an excess of empathy and some people have a dearth of it. At one end of the spectrum we have people so empathic they end up in relationships with those at the other end of the spectrum – those at the narcissistic end. I don’t think it’s useful in the present discussion to focus on the latter, because the former are so much more worthy of discussion and praise.
Relationships: How Can A Woman Tell If A Man Is Unavailable?Although a woman may find that it is relatively easy for her to attract a man, what she may also find is that she is unable to find a man who actually wants a relationship. This may mean that she has been with a number of men who were emotionally unavailable.
Relationships: Why Do Some People Try To Take Other People’s Pain Away?Pain is something that everyone on the planet experiences and, therefore, it is one of the things that connect human beings. However, although pain is something that can’t be avoided, it doesn’t mean that everyone is willing to accept this.
Relationships: Can The Fear Of Being Seen Cause Someone To Attract People Who Are Unavailable?There are a number of things that can stop one from being able to have a fulfilling relationship, and ending up with someone who is unavailable will be one of the things that will stop them from being able to fulfil this need. When this takes place, they can find it hard to understand how this has happened.
Relationships: Why Do Some Women Always Attract Men Who Are Aloof?When a woman has the tendency to end up with men who are unavailable, it is naturally going to have a negative effect on her wellbeing. Her desire to be with a man who is available is not going to be met, so it is to be expected that this won’t be something that she can simply overlook.
Relationships: Why Are Some Men Only Interested In Women Who Need To Be Saved?When a man and a woman are together, and they are both in touch with their power, there will be no need for one of them to try to rescue the other. They will both have boundaries and they won’t be carrying too much baggage.
