In my previous article, I pointed out all the signs of a healthy relationship – the type you want. I’ve also given you some cues to make sure you’re in a bad romance.
In this article, we will take a look at the steps to follow escape from a toxic relationship if you think you are in one.
You could argue that a “toxic” relationship is a little more extreme than an “unhealthy” one, but the reality is that if you’re not in a relationship, POSITIVE i move forward in healthy waysyou have to get it OUT of that. You are just wasting your time, energy and love.
We summarize the worst parts of a relationship, which are GREAT signs that you are in a toxic relationship:
Toxic relationship – Sign no. 1: Review –
When your partner (or you) prefers to point out your flaws and what they see as “bad” about you, you know it won’t work. Relationships are still critical without serious work.
Toxic relationship – Sign no. 2: contempt –
When your partner (or you) is instantly triggered by things you say or do, reacting with an almost violent look, you have a relationship that will need a lot of work to fix. This is one of the “four riders” of the relationship apocalypse.
Toxic relationship – Sign no. 3: Avoidance –
If you or your partner start to avoid each other more than you feel compelled to be together, you are in a toxic relationship. In a nutshell, you’ve come to a place where you don’t even feel attracted to bad place. Really bad.
Toxic relationship – Sign no. 4: The Dark Cloud –
If you constantly have a cloud of negative energy in your relationship …
If your good will is reduced to zero, and you almost it doesn’t matter if your partner is cheating, then you know that remote sound is the “bell of perdition” for you.
These are the 4 main indicators of a toxic relationship.
So how do you get out of this relationship before it really hurts you and your heart?
Is it possible to get out of a toxic relationship?
Yes, you can.
And all you need to do is focus on these 4 steps:
Get out of a toxic relationship – STEP 1: MAKE THE LIST
One thing I see every day in my coaching is that people have a kind of addiction TO TALK i THINKING about their situation. But they almost back down in fear at the thought of listing the problems, the evidence, and the reasons marching a relationship.
I’m not sure if this is because we’re secretly ashamed of the situation we’re in, or that we know that if we write it down on paper it will become more real. After all, the tests will be right there.
And yes, you have to make a serious decision about what to do with your situation.
You see, one of the crazy things about people is that they often feel better do nothing. It seems easier not to make the decision to separate.
But the truth is that if you choose no to decide you have yet to choose. You are choosing to stay, even if you are not willing to admit it.
One of the best things you can do to fit your life and get out of a bad relationship is to have the courage to take stock of your relationship.
Take out a piece of paper and make a list of all the reasons why you should leave the relationship.
This is. One of the easiest exercises ever.
You may be wondering why I didn’t say “And then make a list of the reasons why you should REMAINS in the relationship “.
Well, you probably already do to know you have to go. This is why you are reading this article right now. So you don’t need more confusing and conflicting data.
We need to face the truth and see the evidence we tend to ignore every day.
Just trust yourself that you don’t feel this way without “any reason.”
Trust your intuition and your heart …
Remember that when you keep things floating around the swirling cloud of your thoughts and feelings, you will let yourself be pushed into your own head. You will never be able to understand what you know to be true.
Instead, each new mood will only confuse you.
- ON A GOOD DAY: “It’s nice today, so I’ll stay in the relationship …”
- The next day: “He’s a total idiot … but I’m still happy with the day before when he was nice, so I’ll do a little more …”
- The rest of the week: “It’s cold and distant, but I’m still waiting for another good day so I don’t have to make a very difficult decision …”
Do you see how we play these head games with ourselves?
Be brave – put it on paper. We’ll get back to that in a minute.
Okay, now the NEXT STEP coming out of this failed romance –
Break a toxic relationship – STEP 2: Cut them out
It’s time to dump her …
It’s right. You have to do what you have probably tried to do in the past. You have to break it with them.
And you can’t do what you probably did before, which was leave a little “secret door” for them to get back into the relationship.
Let’s be perfectly, brutally honest – Many times when people “break up”, they are just trying to create some tension in their relationship. They in secret to know they will be back together when the opportunity arises.
But they make the moves to finish it, hoping this can give a lesson to your partner.
Or at least inject a new passion when they give in to a booty call …
If you are in a toxic relationship, you need to be clear about how to do it REAL final.
If you really want to get out of the relationship, you should:
- Cut off contact with them. This may mean blocking your phone number from calls or text messages. This will ensure that you are not tempted.
- Stay away from where they are going. If you go to places they frequent, you’re basically rolling the dice when you find them. And that is usually intentional. Don’t get carried away by this semi-stalker behavior.
- Keep walking. If you meet your ex, either in the hallways of work or on the street, you keep walking. Yes, you can say “hello”, but you DO NOT STOP.
You probably know that your future ex has a soft, attractive side that can enchant you on your way back to bed. (Okay, that’s how people reunite most of the time …) Highly toxic people have this way of activating their charm when they want something, or someone.
You should be on the lookout for any opportunities or planned meetings that may put you back in touch with them.
REMEMBER: Just because you miss the good times with your ex does NOT mean he is the only one for you!
Get out of a toxic relationship – STEP 3 – Remember your billing
Okay, it’s time to take out the pencil and paper again. Only now will I make a list of them all BETTER things about you.
Imagine you are writing to relationship resumefor the fantastic, smart and fun guy you are about to meet.
- What would you put in it?
- What are your assets?
- What are your best qualities as a person?
You have to know your own worth.
What do you bring to a relationship?
An easy way to complete this is to think about what you would say to a family member or good friend who was trying to leave your partner.
What would you tell them?
And it would be different if they said that to you?
Keep this list of your good features to review when you inevitably feel down. If you are in a low mood, you need to find a way out of this pit.
And then you should start reviewing this list from Step 1 on a daily basis.
You need to remember regularly why you don’t want to be with him.
Your mind will play tricks on you where you will stop remembering bad things and just remember the good times. Will be very tempting to return to that relationship if you start forgetting the reasons you left.
Even better is to have a vivid memory: one emotional remember – of him that you can summon at will. Just remember a situation where he just he rejected you with its sparse and toxic behavior. And then play that memory over and over again several times in your head.
Make it your memory of him and me warranty that falling back into the same old situation with him will look like lot less attractive.
Escaping a Toxic Relationship – STEP 4: Having a Lifeboat …
At some point, you may need help making this transition from your toxic relationship.
- Maybe you should call a friend …
- Or talk to your therapist …
- Or bend your mother’s ear …
Just acknowledge in advance that this is okay. Sometimes you need a friend to help you calm down and get down.
We all do it from time to time …
Think about it – There is no organization that helps people deal with broken relationships and breakups.
You are practically alone!
That’s why a lot of people often do well back in a toxic relationship, because they don’t have a favorable environment to keep them out of the relationship.
Your friends and family who support you want to be by your side. So they want to help call them when you need them.
But there is another kind of help you can get that doesn’t involve anyone else. Sometimes you just don’t want to let other people get involved in your healing process.
It can be a little embarrassing to admit you’re stuck …
So what can you do to avoid having to break your privacy?
Get one PLA.
You need a roadmap to navigate the complicated twists and turns of relationships. It’s not as easy as it used to be.
You need to know:
- What men want …
- How to prevent it from moving away …
- How to get him to commit to you …
- How to avoid toxic and unhealthy relationships …
- How to make him fall in love with you …
And a lot a lot month…
I have a roadmap for you – advanced tips and advice that will help you make your relationship a success, even in spite of your flaws and shortcomings.
If you want to find out how make your relationship infallible – because you’ll never have to worry about another toxic or failed relationship – go watch this short introductory video …
It’s the most important thing you’ll see this year … or maybe never!
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