The first dates are exciting. And the most exciting thing is to know that the spark was strong enough and that you brought a game and secured a second date! But how do you know if they want a second date? Is there anything you can do or indicators you can look for that signal that interests them to see you again?
The answer is definitely yes. In this article, we’ll look at eight ways to find out if you’re interested in a second date. We’ll also look at some unique situations that may be harder to explain and give you some great ideas on how to proceed.
The only way to know for sure
Before delving into the signals, we want to make something very clear. The only way to know if someone is 100% wanting a second date is to ask. While the signs in this guide are very useful and can be very exciting, the only way to reach this 100% mark is to have a conversation about it.
How to request a second appointment
Do we recommend a second appointment? We do! We are always great advocates of communication, and this is also the case when you only know each other. That being said, you want to be tactful about asking for a second date because you don’t want to eliminate fun from the equation by making things too formal or seemingly desperate or untrustworthy.
While there are a million different ways to request a second date, we want it to be easy. Here are some text messages you can send after your date to see if they are interested or not. Ideally, they should be sent a few hours after the date or possibly at noon after the first appointment.
- I had a lot of fun tonight / last night! If you are interested, I would love to see you again soon.
- That dinner was so delicious, thank you! I had a good time. If you are free, we will meet again soon!
- Thanks for tonight! We should do it again soon.
Keep in mind that we are not eager and saying things like “maybe if we have fun too we could go out” or something like that. In our post we assume that they have had fun without being arrogant. Also, let them know that the ball is in their court along with the fact that we are interested in seeing them again.
Sometimes you see tips from columnists basically assuming they want to go out with you again, no matter what seems safer. Honestly, this is a pretty tactical approach. Just because you know they have a choice in the matter and putting the ball on their court doesn’t make you any less confident.
Can you make these comments in person? Yes, you can. But it can be a little more awkward for the person who feels put in the moment. The follow-up text gives them time to process the date and decide how they feel about it. The text also makes it clear that the next move is theirs, so don’t end up wondering if you should ask again.
If you would like more information, please see our article on how to make a second appointment with someone in the right way.
Signs that they are interested in a second date
- They talk about doing things in the future. The biggest sign is if the other person starts talking that you two are doing something along the way. For example, if you start talking about how good you are at mini golf and they say, “I’m fine too! We should go sometime and see who is really the best, ”is a very good sign that they are interested in a second date.
- They tell you they want to see you again. This may seem like a silly thing to add to the list, but we hear a lot of people who like to think too much. If the other person says they want to see you again or mentions that they want a second date, then they’re serious.
- Emotion and conversation are twofold. If you are the one leading the whole conversation and the only one who brings energy, the chances are greater (not zero) that they are not interested in a second date. But if they’re laughing and having fun with you in conversation, that’s a good sign. Keep in mind that shy people may not show up right away, so asking is always the best course of action.
- The date is longer than expected. Again, it’s not a telling sign (especially if people have other things planned or kids or dogs at home / work in the morning), but if the date is longer than expected, this is a good signal. For example, if you have a coffee and you both finish coffee but keep talking for a long time afterwards, a great sign for a second date. Or if you end the activity of your date and end up going for a walk or doing something to extend the date and they raised it or are excited about it, another great sign.
- They don’t want to leave. – Okay, that doesn’t mean it’s creepy where you can’t get rid of it, but what we’re talking about is this feeling at the end of the date that you both want to continue longer. It ties in with the sign above that interests them, but it comes into play more when faced with a reason why one of you has to leave. If you start to feel this mutual feeling (or someone says something about it), it’s a great sign.
- They are focused on you (not the phone). – How were they focused on conversation and interaction? They were looking at your phone all the time or focused on you. If they’re on the phone all the time, that’s a bad sign. However, if they focused on you and left your phone in your pocket, they might want this second date.
- They ask you about your relationship status. – Although we are not in favor of asking about exes on the first date, it is usually okay to talk extensively about the status of the relationship. Obviously, unless you’re into something unique, you should both be completely single, but if they start asking questions like “how long have you been single” or if “you’re actively dating other people” or something like that? , they are probably interested in you and therefore probably want a second date.
- Smiles and laughter. – You don’t have to be a stand-up comedian to be successful on a first date. However, when two people click, there are usually a lot of smiles and at least a few laughs. If you get this positive body language from him or her, there are a lot of possibilities looking to mark this second date.
The bottom line
Please note that these tracks and signals are not definitive. These are just ways to get a better idea of whether the other person had as much fun as you did on the date. One of the main reasons they are not definitive is that first dates can be awkward. People are nervous and dating someone you have never met can be awkward.
Be sure not to disqualify the idea of a second date if you don’t see all, some, or even any of these signs. Remember that the best way to act is to ask. The worst thing they can say is no thanks.
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