Sometimes what you need to do when your relationship feels out of place is to check it out.
Dr. Gottman recommends that you take a moment to be “selfish.” If you find this word funny, think of it as investing you. Our research found that taking care of yourself helps make your relationship stronger. Both you and your partner will benefit from stress relief. Here are some ideas to get you started:
Filled with nervous energy or frustration? Take some time to do some physical activity and work it out. If it helps you reduce stress, bring your favorite music. Relieving yourself from spending time moving your body can reduce your chances of hooking up with your partner.
Does reading calm you down? Go to the library and check out a new book. Many local libraries have e-books that you can read from any device. Drop into the world of fiction or if you prefer to fill your head with a new topic.
Do you miss your friends? Make a connection. Whether it’s a video chat platform or going to your favorite coffee shop, you intend to get in touch with your friends. Taking the time to reconnect with those who feel at home away from home will leave you all rejuvenated.
When dealing with those who are suffering, if you feel that a burnout is set in, if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best, for the good of all, to withdraw and recover. The point is to have a long-term perspective.
The Dalai Lama
Take a moment to look at what activities help you feel refreshed. It may be different depending on the day. Some mornings require peace of mind and a cup of coffee, while others require 30 minutes on your yoga mat. Whatever it is, commit to spending some time each day doing a “selfish” activity that will help you feel like you’re back. You will find yourself in a better space and ready to invest in your partner and your relationship.
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