Having a partner is the same as a relationship, and if not, what is the difference between the two and when does it become a relationship? These are the main points of today’s article.
Let’s start by answering the question “is dating the same as a relationship?” with a resounding “no,” dating isn’t a relationship in the same way that being single isn’t the same as actively dating.
Now that we are on the subject, I need to get something out of my chest …
I don’t know why, but I have a big outrage with single dating coaches teaching other singles how to go out or, worse, single dating coaches teaching other singles how to establish and maintain happy long-term relationships.
As for me, doing it is like an overweight personal trainer who trains an overweight person on how to get in shape and live a healthy lifestyle.
Can it be done theoretically? Is it possible to have knowledge of something with which you have little or no experience?
More importantly, is it possible to transfer the precise and possibly more important complexities of specific knowledge when the dating coach’s experiences have only resulted in failed experiences or no experiences at all?
I appreciate that it can be argued in both ways, like saying that a surgeon doesn’t need to be a cancer survivor to know how to treat cancer, but I would still say it’s not necessarily the same.
As a psychology student who has dated a variety of people and as someone who has been happily married for almost 16 years, I can tell you that knowledge is useful, but only lived experience can really teach us the complexities and the differences that make the difference. between success and “failure,” as well as happiness and unhappiness … in my opinion.
Similarly, just asking the question “Is it the same to go out with a relationship?” it is a great example of awareness and perhaps intuitively recognizing that dating is not the same as being in a relationship and therefore requires a different approach and skill set to “succeed” in the long run. .
As a result, the purpose of this post is to freely share with you some ideas about the differences between going out and being in a relationship, hoping to save you time and energy wondering where things are going. or where they are headed.
So, with that off my chest, what’s the difference between going out and being a boy and a girl?
Also, and just as importantly, when dating becomes a relationship?
It’s going out the same as a relationship
Sunaina Mullick of Mensxp.com states that there are five significant distinctions between dating and relationships.
Mullick says that while dating and being in a relationship are conceptually identical, they have small differences that lead to separate characteristics of being with someone.
There are distinctions regarding mutuality, commitment, communication expectations, i priorities.
Mullick begins by emphasizing that one of the main distinctions between dating and relationship is have your own definition of both.
While relationships are built on mutual understanding and trust, dating is not.
Some people want to go out exclusively, while others prefer to go out with several people and are not interested in dedicating themselves to a single person.
Secondly, commitment it is a critical element of any relationship and often defines it.
People who are committed to a relationship are committed to staying together and looking forward to a future together.
On the other hand, dating often has no commitment whatsoever.
While someone is leaving, the only commitment they can have is to split the dinner bill.
Mullick, thirdly, raises the question of communication.
They believe that communicating in a relationship is very different from what it is when you meet.
When couples are in a relationship, they talk regularly, frequently and about everything.
When you’re dating, though, communication tends to be more limited and basic, and not so intrinsic.
For example, communication may involve selecting where to dine below or asking questions to learn more about the other person.
Now, this can quickly change to more intimate and serious matters, as it should be, but communication during the early stages of a dating relationship tends to be a little more superficial.
Fourth, expectations they play an important role in defining the difference between a relationship and a date.
Naturally, expectations differ between individuals, couples, and between going out and being in a relationship.
However, people who are dating tend to have lower expectations of the person they are dating than when they have a relationship with someone.
Again, there are exceptions to the rule and expectations do differ.
As a general rule, it is relatively “natural” for the individuals you relate to to be concerned about the dynamics of the new relationship rather than having significant expectations about the other person or the future.
However, compared to a relationship, expectations are critical.
In addition, Gottman.com reports that in a healthy relationship, individuals have high expectations of how they will be treated.
They expect to be treated with decency, compassion, tenderness, and respect.
They will not accept any form of abuse, either emotional or physical.
This is not always the case when you meet until the relationship becomes serious.
Finally, Mullick points out that while both dating and relationships can be important, dating has a lower premium. intimacy that relationships.
When you go out with someone, you’re not necessarily committed to them, so you prioritize other things like work, friends, and hobbies.
When you have a relationship, however, your interactions with other people can change drastically, as your new partner takes precedence over your life.
Personally, I think this is an excellent list of features that clearly define the difference between dating and relationships, but there are a few other points to keep in mind, for example:
- family and acquaintances
- a religion or a philosophy
- future intentions
These aspects are not necessary to go out with someone, as you have no idea if the relationship will last.
This is something that only time will tell.
However, as your relationship develops and you begin to imagine yourself with that person in the long run, the aforementioned criteria become increasingly meaningful.
- What are our financial opinions and practices?
- When should we start introducing our new spouse to the rest of the family?
- Do we inform our family about our new partner?
- When is the right time to introduce our new spouse to our closest friends?
- Where do we stand on issues of faith, religion, and philosophy of life in general?
- Are we on the same page, are we similar enough or are there some obstacles?
- How about our future companies?
- Do we share comparable goals?
- If not, are our goals compatible or incompatible?
All of these different criteria don’t necessarily play an important role in dating someone, as not all dates have anything significant.
According to another Charm Villalon post on Inspiringtips.com, many people don’t care about the terms “dating” or “relationship,” but understanding how to differentiate them can make a big difference, especially when it comes to things like expectations.
Villalon adds some other distinctions between dating and relationship, such as the following:
- While dating can be physically intimate, a relationship requires a higher level of emotional intimacy.
- Dating can also be experiential and playful, while relationships tend to be more serious and sincere.
- Also, while dating can be brief and transient, a relationship can last a lifetime (or at least much longer).
- Dating involves a greater degree of unpredictability, but a relationship (should) include a greater degree of certainty, predictability, and stability.
- Also, while dating can be “open” and random, which many people like, a relationship values devotion and exclusivity.
In fact, even “open” relationships have their own set of boundaries and standards that set them apart from dating.
Another contrast Villalon draws between dating and relationships that I like is that dating teaches you lessons, while relationships nurture and allow you to grow.
I can certainly attest to that.
Some of the most valuable things I’ve learned about relationships happened while I was dating, the moments when I matured more as a person were while I was in a relationship.
In addition, Villalon points out that dating teaches you to value independence, while a relationship teaches you to value the concept of association.
When you’re dating someone casually, you’re free to live your love life the way you want, but once you’re in a relationship, you begin to appreciate the value of partnerships, and perseverance with the challenges and obstacles you face. a couple is key because you know it’s worth it.
In addition, dating introduces you to new people, often a large number of new people, while a relationship allows you to learn more about someone and anyone else.
Finally, one point I agree with at Villalon is that while dating can make a lot of promises, a relationship fulfills all of those promises (or at least the right kind of relationship it is).
Dating is similar to a general rehearsal, while a relationship is real.
When you have a relationship with someone, especially with someone you are passionate about to the point of marriage, it is no longer a test.
I mean, it might be a test, but you wouldn’t approach it that way with appointments.
At best, quotes say whether this new person is relationship material or not.
Indicate whether it is worth continuing to pursue this individual.
However, until you get into a relationship with another person, no matter how you make the move, you could say that everything is purely fictitious.
Many people develop an addiction to the sensations associated with dating, which explains why they struggle with the supposed “restrictions” and monotony that relationships often impose.
However, dating a large number of individuals is not the same as dating a single person in a relationship.
Being an expert in dating or having extensive experience in dating is not the same as having extensive experience in relationships, as the two are not synonymous.
This is possibly why, according to dating and relationship coach Sami Wunder’s dating philosophy, which is identified as “Get the Ring Coach,” women looking to get married they should refuse to go out with men exclusively until they propose it.
Because until someone is dedicated to you, you don’t need to be committed to him.
Too many people, especially women, find themselves in situations where the man’s intentions are unclear and they find themselves begging and asking for his attention.
However, understanding that dating and relationships are not synonymous, including the goals and behaviors that define them, can save you a lot of time, confusion, and pain.
If you have any ideas on this topic, please share it with us in the comments section below.
I would love to hear from you.
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