Check for these signs of co-dependent behavior. If this sounds like you, watch this video and learn how to start healing yourself.
When you have a partner, do you usually put your partner’s needs ahead of your own? You may behave in a codependent manner. Recognizing the signs of co-dependent behavior is the first step to having healthier relationships.
Signs that may be co-dependent
What is codependency?
Codependence refers to any stuck relationship in which one person believes they need to meet the needs of the other, while losing their own sense of autonomy.
Co-dependent conduct generally involves:
- Focus on the others first
- Need for control
- Difficulty expressing emotions and setting boundaries
A person with co-dependent behavior may experience:
- Confidence issues with themselves and others
- The desire to fix / save people so that they feel needed
- Put the needs of others before your own
- Problems with confrontation and decision making
- Do whatever it takes to keep relationships afloat
- Fear of losing partners and other relationships
If you are co-dependent, it is difficult for you to identify and express your feelings, because you are very used to talking about the needs of others. You only feel important / valued when others need you or can’t live without you. You end up choosing couples who are in need, unhealthy, inconsiderate, and / or addicted or mentally ill.
What can you do to heal yourself?
- Spend some time alone and do some soul searching.
- Ask yourself, ‘What is important to me? What have I given up to support others?’
- Find a list of key values on the web and find the top ten. Then reduce it to the top five. These are the values you have to honor from now on, no matter what.
- Create healthy boundaries to protect these values so you don’t get lost in the support of others.
- A good limit is to stop the self-yes when someone asks for a favor. Practice the 24 hour rule. Please wait one day before replying so that you have time to process.
- When making decisions throughout the day, ask yourself, “Are you feeding me or exhausting me?” If it is healthy for you, it will nourish your soul. If it is a co-dependent behavior, it will exhaust you.
- Practice healthy ways to take care of yourself.
Over time, if you practice these self-care steps, you can break the pattern of co-dependence and have healthy relationships. For more support, please contact Codependents Anonymous.
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