Getting to know someone new can be exciting. When you meet someone you’re right with, you get excited every time you receive a new text alert. Your conversations are great, things are still flirty, and you can’t wait to see them again. But is it true that absence makes the heart love itself more? Can you end a relationship by spending too much time together when you start dating?
If you want to make a long journey (or even a semi-long journey), it is worth paying attention to the signals you are giving to your new love interest. Playing hard to get it may seem like it requires high maintenance or inconvenience, while sticking to someone’s hip seems sticky and … well, high maintenance as well. There has be a balance, right?
There is definitely. You want to get the most out of something exciting, but you want to make sure you keep your own space and social circle. Keep things in perspective, but don’t forget to have fun. Like all things, go with your instincts, but here are some tips to keep this new relationship energy strong.
First things first – if you’re constantly wasting your nights with your friends to spend time with someone you’ve just dated, take a step back and think about what that might mean. If you nurture your friendships and take the time to be with your best friends, they will be there long after the relationship fades, no matter how long or short.
There’s also an even more serious side to this: If someone you’re dating is actively trying to prevent you from seeing your friends, this is a big red flag for possible abusive behavior later on. You definitely don’t want to introduce your friends to someone new right away, but if that’s someone new May you want to get to know your friends, let alone show them, this is a sure sign of trouble ahead.
Introducing them to your friends early may be awkward, but if you think they’ll be around for a while, it’s worth receiving their input soon, if only to see if they resemble the group. If you want your new love interest to be around 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, but they definitely don’t, it will be a problem. And there’s a good chance they’ll see things you won’t see. If you’re together non-stop, give him a dozen dates and then introduce them to your friends.
Once you’ve passed this critical test of whether your relationship has the potential to be healthy, focus on the fun. If you’re both having a great time, go ahead! Life is short, and if you have time, enjoy it! How do you know if you’re both having fun? You have to trust that they are honest and trust your instincts in the rest.
Do any of you check your phones too often, are you bored, or do you suggest that you have other things to do? It seems like an obvious sign that you’re exaggerating. But it’s so easy to get in the way of things you can forget that you don’t have to get bored as a couple when you can be productive and enjoy yourself. It is not a judgment; we all need time alone. Make sure you make time for it. But if you have time for yourself and still have time to see your new interest often, go for it!
Absence It does Make your heart grow more grateful
However, there is something to be said for intentionally taking some time out of your new relationship. All in moderation. While you may feel that you can’t get enough of each other, you both know that you have the willpower to spend some time apart.
It is a good practice if the relationship becomes more serious and you find yourself to own spend more time apart because of school or work. It also sets early expectations about what kind of time and energy you should give. Just because you can do something, such as devoting all your time to one person, possibly even texting them for an entire workday, doesn’t mean you have to. Leave a little mystery and a little conversation for later.
Whether by text message or in person, don’t you want to be able to ask someone “how was your day” without immediately knowing the answer?
How is the text message in between?
If part of your concern is that the other person is feeling a little suffocated and you don’t know, what is it like when you’re separated? Do you send text messages all day? Do you start or end the day with a text message?
Giving space to someone from time to time, even in an ongoing thread of text, is always a good idea, but if they respond to the text, this is a good sign that they are quite comfortable with the amount of time you spend together. and how good you are. you are clicking.
Open communication wins the day
Ultimately, talking to your partner that will be important soon is a good way to put the issue to bed. It can be awkward, but if you and the person you started dating soon have high expectations, it can set the tone for the rest of the relationship, no matter how long it lasts. Just saying “Oh, I can’t; I have a friend’s birthday party that night ”and honoring these plans sets a good limit: you don’t have to be accompanied everywhere.
You may be missing out, but that’s good! It will take a long time to make them your best, but getting out early is about making sure you and your potential partner are doing well in the long run. The best way to do that is to live your life and see where they fit in, and they should do the same. It will benefit both of you in the long run.
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